(Bird hunkering down in intense winds, waiting it out on the pier, picture taken by my son)
Didn’t SEE that coming…but I sure FELT IT heading my way…
A couple of weeks ago I got information that changed everything in my life.
My accountant told me I needed to sell my little house by the sea I love so much,and would not be able to retire in the United States.
The retirement I believed I would experience while married, is apparently no longer a reality here…
It has taken me three and a half years, since my awakening experience, to know that Freedom is ONE of my True Self’s Goal.
I used to “think” that I wanted to be happy.
Then that I wanted to be safe.
Then along the way I had to release wanting to be taken care of by another.
That one was super hard, a lifetime of conditioning making me think I needed a savior, or a knight in shining armor…to rescue me.
Waited for a while during that phase…but they were a “no show”.
This was the massive “depression” part of my awakening at realizing no one was going to come save me, or anyone… while beginning to comprehend I was not anything like I thought I was…
In fact I had no idea WHO I was.
All the while “seeing” the truth of what needed to be “cleaned” up, at ALL levels.
So not only was I super depressed, but Boy was I pissed!
Those two,super depressed and pissed off, love to pair up.
This I call my “put myself in time out” phase, as I was not fit for human consumption…lol
I CONSTANTLY asked for help from my light family and team while at the Same time cursing and cussing at them while screaming as loud as I could from the top of my lungs,telling them where they could “stuff” it…
Oh yeah that was quite the tough step process.
Thank goodness for Love.
From that phase came the realization there was nothing to save, as all was unfolding in Divine Timing and I just need to follow my Heart and have faith.
That’s where I am. Now.
And in this place I now find myself ,I have come to realize that for me,without FREEDOM,nothing else can fully BE.
With freedom comes the happiness and the security and the abundance to live from my Heart with no outside interference.
It shows my beloved family that by following my Heart,happiness follows.
That it is indeed possible to live a happy life.
Everything interconnected with what freedom brings leads to abundance for me.
Free to be me.
Sounds like such a hippie phrase lol, but so true.
I am also so incredibly grateful to be fluent in Spanish.
I understand now why I was born in Argentina, and lived there for ten years.
Needed to learn Spanish maing!
Everything that happens is indeed always for the best.
Faith is a beautiful thing.
But ultimately I KNEW from within me that my life was going to change big time since the winter solstice.
I knew it.
Just didn’t see it coming like this.
I felt what I call the “winds of change” heading my way in a hurricane type way.
Always been an empath and felt such things, but never with this magnitude and force.
So NOW I know.
In a way my worse fears have come true. I am stepping into a future facing my ultimate fear.
Except I am not afraid.
The rocking chair retirement I had envisioned with the beautiful father of my children, watching our grand babies play in our perfectly groomed, (and professionally landscaped) yard in the United States, with both my children near me…no go.
I face a retirement in another country, with the possibility my children,(21 and 23),will not be geographically near me.
Starting out by myself from scratch.
I call this quantum jumping ala human style.
Funny how at a time of my life when I “thought” I would be “settled”, I am facing my greatest test of my faith.
Thank goodness I am not into “thinking” anymore like I used to be,Lol.
All that thinking,all that logical planning, all that stress about retirement…
This for me, the final release of how I “thought” things were going to be and acceptance that it will not be so.
I know that if I follow my Heart I will fully understand the “why” of it at some point.
I see the truth of my situation.
I feel with all my Heart,that what awaits me is for the highest good of all, and I cannot begin to imagine my new life…
I understand now, 50 years later, that speaking Spanish allows for me to make this enormous life transition easier by not having language be an obstacle.
A lot of countries speak Spanish…
Yet when at ten Mami told me we were leaving Argentina, I thought my life had ended.
Yes it ended-THERE.
It began- HERE.
And so it goes…
So NOW I am here.
About to jump.
I don’t know where.
I don’t know how.
I don’t know when.
I don’t know why.
I don’t know with whom.
I am stepping into my unknown future.
I do feel(know) however that the rhythm of life, ebbs and flows.
Beginnings becoming endings leading to new beginnings.
So I am ending AND starting what comes my way in my Heart.
Connected to my Source.
With my beautiful children walking right beside me into this new life with no fear.
Faith telling me that we are hugely loved and everything will be MORE than ok.
It feels peaceful within me, that TRUTH.
My Source’s Way of letting me know that if I jump and chose freedom,I will land softly and safely.
We ALL will.
For I am so loved.
We ALL are.
I chose Freedom.
In Light and Love, Maria ❤